Best Man, Gary Edge,
giving his toast.
More pictures can be found
in the photo albums.
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I guess I'm supposed to give a toast
to Carl & Ashley Cook
So I thought that I might steal me one
from some clever book
But the books I searched through, high & low
didn't help a bit
'Cause they were all too serious
and wasn't workth a... flip
'Cause Carl & I have been good friends
for a pretty good long time
And I'm here to tell you people
that Carl's truly one of a kind
But I'm not here to compliment
or pay any kind of respects
'Cause that might let the newlyweds down
you see, I know what they expect
They're expecting me to insult them
'til both their faces turn red
But they won't need me to do that very long
now that they are wed
So Carl, you just leave a dirty glass
or your old underwear lying around
And you're gonna see your "lovely bride"
come completely unwound
Now Carl may be from Mars
and Ashley from Venus
But Carl really don't care
When she's stuck in between us
Right now you two are looking good
and make such a lovely pair
But wait until tomorrow mornin', Carl
When she ain't got fixed up hair
We know you met on New Year's Eve
when ya'll was at a dance
But what really got Carl's attention
was how she filled out her pants
And Ashley was there on a date
with some other guy
But it didn't take her very long
to tell that boy goodbye!
And then she started changing
in a real short time
She tried to learn to country dance
but it don't count if it's in a line
She started getting interested
in men that race their cars
So now on Sunday afternoons
she likes to watch NASCAR
And when she watches races
Elliott Sadler is her man
But Carl don't need to worry
'Cause he ain't worth a damn
Now I have one and Carl does too
but his is somewhat smaller
And the first time that Ashley tired mine out
you should have heard her hollar
'Cause mine is black and Carl's is white
and Rick's old truck is red
And I hope that none of the old folks here
just dropped over dead
So now its time for all of us
to raise this little glass
And hope that what's inside
won't knock us on our ass!
This ain't to the bee, or to the hole
or to good friends that come and go
And its not to hoping Ashley
never tells you "no"
Now all your family and all your friends
can now toast with this ol' boy
And pray your life together
is filled with love and joy
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